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Healing is hard … that’s not what you expected me to say is it? We are lead to believe that healing is this shining lovely journey to a state of peace and calm that is the summit of all happiness and we will live there happily ever after.
Wrong.
Healing is that tough slog through murky, thick mud to a point of calm and peace that is ever changing, shifting and moving. Forever at the mercy of external forces.
Is it worth it? Hell yes.
I have been a devotee to Psychological therapy for almost 5 years now. After my breakdown I realised that the only control I really had was over understanding myself as much as possible … the good and the bad.
I attend therapy every 2-3 weeks and while I have tried repeatedly to “go it alone” it’s usually at the 4 week mark that I find the static inside my head so noisy, disjointed and irritating that I seek the sanctuary of my Therapists office once again. Not because she can fix it for me, but because she challenges the static and helps me to take control of it again.
Many people see this as weakness. A stronger person would plough on, make it work, fight on … just survive.
I don’t understand that mentality at all.
Ploughing on and simply surviving the bad times is not strength. That’s Ego. And Ego will always take the easy way out.
We all have Ego, there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s a survival mechanism. But Ego will never choose to open itself up to be challenged. Because Ego can never be objective.
The truth is, it doesn’t matter how intelligent or objective we think we are ... you can never been objective about your own thoughts, feelings, fears or strengths.
But the good news is there are incredible people in the world who have devoted their time and careers to doing just that. Psychologists, Counsellors, Social Workers … these are the heroes to our Egos.
At the moment I am in the midst of a particularly difficult healing challenge, one that goes WAY back and cuts all too deep. It hurts. It’s embarrassing even. It would be so much easier to just leave it where it is. But the beauty about being an adult is getting to choose to challenge the things that don’t work and swap them for things that do. The things that happened to us in the past, especially as children, literally changes how our brain functions and then how we treat ourselves and how we react to the rest of the world.
How can I expect to figure this out on my own when my brain simply cannot process my feelings with objectivity?
So I put my trust in a person who has devoted their time and energy to understanding the how and why of the human brain. Its basic functions and its emotional processing abilities. And despite the negativity of some, a therapist is never in the business of keeping another person ill. That’s Ego again.
It’s a work in progress. As I challenge myself I find release. The way I react to myself and the world around me changes. I finally understand why I do certain things.
I don’t need to be fixed. No one needs to be fixed.
What I deserve … what we all deserve … is the opportunity to understand ourselves better. That’s where the real strength comes from. And in that we can find Peace.
Yes, there will still be bad days. We are complex emotional beings, beautifully strange and complicated creatures. Now imagine the strength that comes when you have a bad day and you finally understand WHY.
There is no end to this journey. But it can be a journey of discovery, knowledge, strength and peace … if we have the courage.
You and I? We’re bloody worth it.
J
Jen
)O(
Wrong.
Healing is that tough slog through murky, thick mud to a point of calm and peace that is ever changing, shifting and moving. Forever at the mercy of external forces.
Is it worth it? Hell yes.
I have been a devotee to Psychological therapy for almost 5 years now. After my breakdown I realised that the only control I really had was over understanding myself as much as possible … the good and the bad.
I attend therapy every 2-3 weeks and while I have tried repeatedly to “go it alone” it’s usually at the 4 week mark that I find the static inside my head so noisy, disjointed and irritating that I seek the sanctuary of my Therapists office once again. Not because she can fix it for me, but because she challenges the static and helps me to take control of it again.
Many people see this as weakness. A stronger person would plough on, make it work, fight on … just survive.
I don’t understand that mentality at all.
Ploughing on and simply surviving the bad times is not strength. That’s Ego. And Ego will always take the easy way out.
We all have Ego, there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s a survival mechanism. But Ego will never choose to open itself up to be challenged. Because Ego can never be objective.
The truth is, it doesn’t matter how intelligent or objective we think we are ... you can never been objective about your own thoughts, feelings, fears or strengths.
But the good news is there are incredible people in the world who have devoted their time and careers to doing just that. Psychologists, Counsellors, Social Workers … these are the heroes to our Egos.
At the moment I am in the midst of a particularly difficult healing challenge, one that goes WAY back and cuts all too deep. It hurts. It’s embarrassing even. It would be so much easier to just leave it where it is. But the beauty about being an adult is getting to choose to challenge the things that don’t work and swap them for things that do. The things that happened to us in the past, especially as children, literally changes how our brain functions and then how we treat ourselves and how we react to the rest of the world.
How can I expect to figure this out on my own when my brain simply cannot process my feelings with objectivity?
So I put my trust in a person who has devoted their time and energy to understanding the how and why of the human brain. Its basic functions and its emotional processing abilities. And despite the negativity of some, a therapist is never in the business of keeping another person ill. That’s Ego again.
It’s a work in progress. As I challenge myself I find release. The way I react to myself and the world around me changes. I finally understand why I do certain things.
I don’t need to be fixed. No one needs to be fixed.
What I deserve … what we all deserve … is the opportunity to understand ourselves better. That’s where the real strength comes from. And in that we can find Peace.
Yes, there will still be bad days. We are complex emotional beings, beautifully strange and complicated creatures. Now imagine the strength that comes when you have a bad day and you finally understand WHY.
There is no end to this journey. But it can be a journey of discovery, knowledge, strength and peace … if we have the courage.
You and I? We’re bloody worth it.
J
Jen
)O(